Beating cancer.

In February 2013 it is 8 years since I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I have always been afraid of operations, anaesthetics and going into hospital, but I just wanted the cancer out of my body, I wanted it gone.  Hubby was a bit worried at first that I would not go through with the operation, the chemotherapy, radiotherapy and everything that goes along with it. I have always been frightened of cancer, even the word filled me with dread, and I had always said I would not have chemotherapy, I would not have an operation.  When it actually happened to me I realised that my worst fear had been realised, I had cancer, and I did not feel any different to how I felt before! I was scared yes, I wondered what was going to happen yes, but I was more frightened of worrying my family, I did not want my elderly mom worrying herself about me. I did not want my husband worrying about me, and I certainly did not want to worry my kids. We told nobody until I got a definate diagnosis, there was no point in making anybody worried about something which may or may not happen, so we kept it quiet but once the diagnosis was confirmed I had no choice but to tell them. When my hair started to fall out they would notice, when I was feeling ill from effects of chemotherapy they would notice, when I was in hospital having the operation to remove the alien from my body they would definately notice. Telling my loved ones was awful, terrible. I could barely get the words out when I had to tell my husband I had cancer, my voice broke when I told mom, she was so quiet, too quiet. My son did not want to believe it, my daughter cried and cried, shook and shook. I never wanted to hurt them that much, I knew I had to fight.

I was told my cancer was fast growing and aggressive, if it had not been discovered by that routine mammogram my story might have been very different. I had an operation to have it cut out of me, I had 8 months of chemotherapy, I had radiotherapy, I had herceptin because it turned out to be HER2 positive, I took tamoxifen and even now today I still have to take hormones because the cancer was fuelled by oestrogen so I have been told my best chance of it not returning is to take the hormone tablets. I have to visit the oncologist and surgeon for 10 years because the diagnosis was so bad, so you see I could so easily not be here, but the thing is I am. I never thought about dying, I always thought I would live, my family and friends kept me going, they helped me through, as did the nurses and doctors, my GP everybody has been amazing. Thanks to you all, without you where would I be?

So if you have just received a diagnosis of breast cancer, even if it is grade 3, stage 3, fast growing and aggressive, HER2 positive, just like mine was you can do it, you can be here 8 years later, just like me. I won`t lie, chemotherapy is not very nice, I would not choose to have needles stuck in my hand but if thats what it takes, do it. I was very sick through chemotherapy but the oncologist increased my anti sickness medication so that helped. I passed out a couple of times, I felt very tired, the skin underneath my breast was burnt by the radiotherapy meaning I had to have dressings put on for some time, but its ok now and I got through it. There are lots of side effects, but if those side effects say goodbye to the cancer, if those side effects help you to live to be with your family and friends, its only for a short while. No the treatments are no nice, but you can do it. I did. So you can do it too. Believe me I know, I got through it, even though I never thought I would, I have always been afraid of cancer, even the word. I am beating cancer, its not beating me, don`t let cancer beat you either. I am still here 8 years after cancer diagnosis, you can still be here in 8 years time too. Good luck. xxx