I won`t lie, I have spent quite a lot of time during the last 7 years worrying that my breast cancer could return, but then I expect that is true of a lot of people who have cancer. I do my best to keep positive, and a lot of the time I succeed, but if I lie awake in the early hours my mind tends to wander and I can`t help thinking "what if?". Not all the time, not every time I am lying in the dark unable to sleep, but sometimes you can`t control your thoughts can you, and before you know it your mind is back there, when you discovered that cancer had invaded your body, and worry takes over. I can`t help it, I really can`t, and I don`t want to dwell on "what if" and so I set about keeping busy or occupying my mind with other happier thoughts. If I am up and about when these thoughts come upon me I will try to deflect them by doing something interesting, reading a book, painting, emailing a friend, anything to get rid of those negative thoughts. If I am in bed, lying in the dark at 3am its not easy to turn your mind to something else and then I find I am unable to sleep. I find it handy to have my DS by my bed and I distract my thoughts playing a game, it often works and I can go back to sleep. Its only natural to be worried about cancer returning, I had grade 3 breast cancer over 7 years ago and at first I thought about it all the time but as the time has passed I think about it less and less, especially now family life has moved on and I am a proud grandmother, after all you cannot put your life on hold for cancer. Live each day as it comes, enjoy each day, love your family and friends, try and find a positive in every situation. So here is my positive about cancer, if I had never had cancer I would not be aware of how many people actually love and care about me. As soon as I let it be known that cancer had struck I had offers of support from so many people, some of whom I did not expect any help from, and who I did not realised cared so much. I am grateful for everybody who helped me through my ordeal, friends and relatives who I discovered cared more than I ever realised. Yes, I still worry that one day the dreaded cancer could return, but against the odds I beat it once, why should I not beat it again?
Its breast cancer awareness month in October. It is also Stand up to cancer, and that is what I am doing, standing up to cancer. I will not let it beat me, and I won`t let the worry of it returning beat me down either.
Monday, 15 October 2012
Monday, 1 October 2012
Be aware of the signs of breast cancer.
October is breast cancer awareness month and as a survivor of grade 3 breast cancer for over 7 years I know I am a very lucky person. After all there are only 4 grades of cancer, says it all really. In February 2013 it will be 8 years since my diagnosis and I am grateful to all the people who helped me to be here today. I know not everyone is so lucky.
I had a routine mammogram which picked up a lump, it was 1cm so the doctors told me it was very small and had been caught early. The biopsy I had was not too bad, the doctor pointed out the problem area on the ultrasound screen and when I asked him straight could I have cancer, he answered me honestly and said he thought it to be the case. I had to return the following day for the results. I had not even wanted to attend the mammogram, I was invited to have it because I was turning 50 that July and as I was still 49 I did not want to go for the mammogram as I did not want to be 50! Ridiculous I know but thats how I felt at the time, I am so glad I was persuaded otherwise.
When they told me it was cancer I was numb, I could not believe it had happened to me, and I was so frightened about what would happen next. The thought of possible chemotherapy scared me, I had always hated hospitals and I certainly did not want to be cut open. I had never had an operation and I was worried about having an anaesthetic. Even the word Cancer frightened me, it always had done to be honest. I was told it was grade 1 so I would have an operation to remove the tumour then radiotherapy.
About 3 or 4 weeks later I went into hospital to have a wide local excision, used to be known as a lumpectomy. The surgeon told me they would remove enough tissue to ensure the whole tumour had gone, and would take some lymph nodes too, to ensure it had not spread.
A week after I left hospital I had the lab results, things were not as expected. The surgeon had taken 13 lymph nodes and 3 had contained cancer. My cancer was fast growing and aggressive, and not grade 1 as I had been told, but grade 3. I would need radiotherapy, but also chemotherapy and it would need to be very aggressive to make sure it got any stray cells. I was devastated as you can imagine, I did not know how to cope, but knew I had to because I had my family around me who loved me. My husband and my children, my elderly mother, my sisters, neices and nephews, my close friends were all behind me, ready to support me all the way.
I was afraid of chemotherapy but more I was afraid of the unknown. Nobody had told me what would happen, would I have tablets, injections, a drip? I knew nothing of chemotherapy and I wanted to know what I was dealing with!
The nurses in the chemotherapy department were great, they explained what would happen and were so supportive and helpful. The first lot I had, every 3 weeks for 4 sessions was administered by an IV flow into the back of my hand by a kind nurse who sat in front of me, talking quietly to calm and support me, while she slowly pushed the drugs into my body. I was given anti sickness tablets and good advice. Yes I was sick, very sick, so on my next visit to the oncologist I told her what had happened and she doubled the medication to help me. I lost all my hair 3 weeks after that first session and was issued with a wig by a wonderful lady who cut it to my liking. I also had an array of head scarves which I alternated with the wig on days I did not want to wear one. Radiotherapy did not hurt, though I had problems with my skin which was burnt by the constant rays and which I had to take great care of with the help of the GP practice nurse. The second kind of chemotherapy I had was administered by a drip over about an hour and we had comfortable armchairs to sit in which reclined. The radio played in the unit and the nurses were always about to answer questions and give advice. The whole experience was not nice, I will not lie to you, but I got through it. I had good days and bad, I was poorly for a week following chemo then would gradually start to feel a little better for a few days before I had the next session. The help, love and support I had from family and friends during this time was invaluable and I shall never forget what they did for me. It got me through.
After all my chemotherapy and radiotherapy finished I discovered my tumour was HER2 positive and I had to have herceptin. I had this at the hospital again by a IV drip every 2 weeks for a year. My hair had begun to grow back right at the end of the 8 months of chemotherapy and it was coming through in tight curls! Rather unexpected to say the least, it was soft and resembled baby hair! I did not feel many ill effects on herceptin which was great and I knew it increased the chances of the cancer not returning a lot, so it was worth having the drug.
So 2 years of treatments, and then ofcourse there are the hormones, Tamoxifen and now Letrozole, which I have to take every day. I still visit the hospital to see my surgeon and oncologist annually and my GP keeps an eye on my health in the meantime. I do worry, yes, that the cancer will return but I suppose that is normal and I try not to let it affect me too much, its best to try and put it out of your mind if at all possible, not as easy as it sounds. I have to see the professionals for 10 years because my cancer was grade 3, normally you would attend for 5 years, but at least I know I am being looked after and have the support I need. The important thing is that over 7 years, now almost 8 years, since I was diagnosed with a fast growing and aggressive form of breast cancer I am still here. If I had not had that mammogram I may not have been. So please, attend your mammogram appointments, and touch, look and check. It could save your life. All the best. xxx
I did not find a lump, I did have some signs which I had not realised meant anything at the time. Thickening and dimpling of the skin of the breast are changes which can indicate a problem but I was not aware of this at the time, I wish I had been. www.breakthrough.org.uk would have been useful if I had realised what the signs could mean. TLC - Touch, Look, Check, their campaign gives further details. Here is the TLC guide, courtesy of Breakthrough Breast cancer.
Love your breasts. Be breast aware.
Most cases of breast cancer are found by women noticing unusual changes, taking the initiative and visiting their doctor. The earlier breast cancer is found, the better the chance of beating it – so you can see how important it is to make regular checks.
Being breast aware simply means knowing what your breasts look and feel like normally, being on the lookout for any unusual changes and getting them checked out by your doctor. Lumps are vital to look out for – but there can be other important signs too. And even if you do find a lump, in most cases they turn out not to be cancerous. So stay calm – remain in control.
I had a routine mammogram which picked up a lump, it was 1cm so the doctors told me it was very small and had been caught early. The biopsy I had was not too bad, the doctor pointed out the problem area on the ultrasound screen and when I asked him straight could I have cancer, he answered me honestly and said he thought it to be the case. I had to return the following day for the results. I had not even wanted to attend the mammogram, I was invited to have it because I was turning 50 that July and as I was still 49 I did not want to go for the mammogram as I did not want to be 50! Ridiculous I know but thats how I felt at the time, I am so glad I was persuaded otherwise.
When they told me it was cancer I was numb, I could not believe it had happened to me, and I was so frightened about what would happen next. The thought of possible chemotherapy scared me, I had always hated hospitals and I certainly did not want to be cut open. I had never had an operation and I was worried about having an anaesthetic. Even the word Cancer frightened me, it always had done to be honest. I was told it was grade 1 so I would have an operation to remove the tumour then radiotherapy.
About 3 or 4 weeks later I went into hospital to have a wide local excision, used to be known as a lumpectomy. The surgeon told me they would remove enough tissue to ensure the whole tumour had gone, and would take some lymph nodes too, to ensure it had not spread.
A week after I left hospital I had the lab results, things were not as expected. The surgeon had taken 13 lymph nodes and 3 had contained cancer. My cancer was fast growing and aggressive, and not grade 1 as I had been told, but grade 3. I would need radiotherapy, but also chemotherapy and it would need to be very aggressive to make sure it got any stray cells. I was devastated as you can imagine, I did not know how to cope, but knew I had to because I had my family around me who loved me. My husband and my children, my elderly mother, my sisters, neices and nephews, my close friends were all behind me, ready to support me all the way.
I was afraid of chemotherapy but more I was afraid of the unknown. Nobody had told me what would happen, would I have tablets, injections, a drip? I knew nothing of chemotherapy and I wanted to know what I was dealing with!
The nurses in the chemotherapy department were great, they explained what would happen and were so supportive and helpful. The first lot I had, every 3 weeks for 4 sessions was administered by an IV flow into the back of my hand by a kind nurse who sat in front of me, talking quietly to calm and support me, while she slowly pushed the drugs into my body. I was given anti sickness tablets and good advice. Yes I was sick, very sick, so on my next visit to the oncologist I told her what had happened and she doubled the medication to help me. I lost all my hair 3 weeks after that first session and was issued with a wig by a wonderful lady who cut it to my liking. I also had an array of head scarves which I alternated with the wig on days I did not want to wear one. Radiotherapy did not hurt, though I had problems with my skin which was burnt by the constant rays and which I had to take great care of with the help of the GP practice nurse. The second kind of chemotherapy I had was administered by a drip over about an hour and we had comfortable armchairs to sit in which reclined. The radio played in the unit and the nurses were always about to answer questions and give advice. The whole experience was not nice, I will not lie to you, but I got through it. I had good days and bad, I was poorly for a week following chemo then would gradually start to feel a little better for a few days before I had the next session. The help, love and support I had from family and friends during this time was invaluable and I shall never forget what they did for me. It got me through.
After all my chemotherapy and radiotherapy finished I discovered my tumour was HER2 positive and I had to have herceptin. I had this at the hospital again by a IV drip every 2 weeks for a year. My hair had begun to grow back right at the end of the 8 months of chemotherapy and it was coming through in tight curls! Rather unexpected to say the least, it was soft and resembled baby hair! I did not feel many ill effects on herceptin which was great and I knew it increased the chances of the cancer not returning a lot, so it was worth having the drug.
So 2 years of treatments, and then ofcourse there are the hormones, Tamoxifen and now Letrozole, which I have to take every day. I still visit the hospital to see my surgeon and oncologist annually and my GP keeps an eye on my health in the meantime. I do worry, yes, that the cancer will return but I suppose that is normal and I try not to let it affect me too much, its best to try and put it out of your mind if at all possible, not as easy as it sounds. I have to see the professionals for 10 years because my cancer was grade 3, normally you would attend for 5 years, but at least I know I am being looked after and have the support I need. The important thing is that over 7 years, now almost 8 years, since I was diagnosed with a fast growing and aggressive form of breast cancer I am still here. If I had not had that mammogram I may not have been. So please, attend your mammogram appointments, and touch, look and check. It could save your life. All the best. xxx
I did not find a lump, I did have some signs which I had not realised meant anything at the time. Thickening and dimpling of the skin of the breast are changes which can indicate a problem but I was not aware of this at the time, I wish I had been. www.breakthrough.org.uk would have been useful if I had realised what the signs could mean. TLC - Touch, Look, Check, their campaign gives further details. Here is the TLC guide, courtesy of Breakthrough Breast cancer.
Love your breasts. Be breast aware.
Most cases of breast cancer are found by women noticing unusual changes, taking the initiative and visiting their doctor. The earlier breast cancer is found, the better the chance of beating it – so you can see how important it is to make regular checks.
Being breast aware simply means knowing what your breasts look and feel like normally, being on the lookout for any unusual changes and getting them checked out by your doctor. Lumps are vital to look out for – but there can be other important signs too. And even if you do find a lump, in most cases they turn out not to be cancerous. So stay calm – remain in control.
It’s as simple as TLC...
TOUCH your breasts. Can you feel anything unusual?
LOOK for changes. Is there any change in shape or texture?
CHECK anything unusual with your doctor.
No one knows your body better than you and everyone will have their own way of touching and looking for changes – there’s no special technique and you don’t need any training. It’s good to get into the habit of doing this regularly – maybe when you’re in the bath or shower, or while getting dressed in the morning. You might prefer to do it while standing up or lying down. Either way, the important thing is to be familiar with how your breasts look and feel normally, so you notice anything unusual – and remember to check the whole breast area, including your upper chest and armpits.
LOOK for changes. Is there any change in shape or texture?
CHECK anything unusual with your doctor.
No one knows your body better than you and everyone will have their own way of touching and looking for changes – there’s no special technique and you don’t need any training. It’s good to get into the habit of doing this regularly – maybe when you’re in the bath or shower, or while getting dressed in the morning. You might prefer to do it while standing up or lying down. Either way, the important thing is to be familiar with how your breasts look and feel normally, so you notice anything unusual – and remember to check the whole breast area, including your upper chest and armpits.
You’re never too old for some TLC
Whatever your age, it’s good to get into the habit of checking. The risk of breast cancer increases with age, so if you are over 50, you’ll get an invitation for free breast screening every three years up to the age of 70. And remember if you’re over 70 you are still entitled to free breast screening – just ask your local screening service or doctor.
This information is available here http://www.breakthrough.org.uk/breast_cancer/breast_awareness/index.html
This information is available here http://www.breakthrough.org.uk/breast_cancer/breast_awareness/index.html
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