Scared of a return

You need your loved ones around you when you are diagnosed cancer.

It is not just while you have treatment that you need those around who love you, it is afterwards too, when the chemotherapy is finished, you are no longer attending the hospital every couple of weeks or so, and you are feeling scared that the cancer will return. Not everybody realises you are still vulnerable and may need the support. When my mom died nearing the end of my treatment I was gutted and found it hard to cope, I needed people to keep me positive. I needed people to keep their promise to visit, you didn`t did you?

Friends were there for me, my house looked like a florists shop the day I came out of hospital and I was so grateful for those loving caring family and friends for making me feel special and loved.

My annual mammogram and six monthly check ups at the hospital are quite nerve wracking, "will they find anything" obviously always goes through my mind. Even though 6 years, almost 7 actually, have passed now I still get times of worry, sudden panics, when I wonder if the reason I am feeling ill sometimes could be anything to do with cancer. The doctor told me I would be this way, and he was right, though when he said it I did not really believe him!

I live day to day, I don`t tend to look too far intor the future because I am frightened to do that, afraid of what may be awaiting me.