October is breast cancer awareness month, not that you should be unaware any of the other months, you should check regularly for lumps, bumps, dimples and other irregularities and attend mammograms too. My breast cancer was discovered because I went along, reluctantly I must admit,(my husband insisted, having found the letter in the waste paper basket) for my first routine mammogram when I was 49, 6 months before I turned 50 years old, not expecting anything to be found. I was so certain that there would be no problem that we booked a holiday to Greece the same day! Within a week I had a hospital letter to attend, followed by a biopsy and a week after that first mammogram I heard the awful news that I had breast cancer. We were stunned, frightened, agonised, numb, terrified, every emotion you can think of. I wanted the alien immediately cut out of my body, I could not bear to think of the cancer inside me, eating me away. On my hospital visits I realised I had actually missed signs which I was totally unaware of, dimpled skin on the breast was a sign of cancer which I had never realised but now ofcourse I wish I had known. I am not even sure how long it was there before my diagnosis, but I think it was there for quite a while. Perhaps I could have prevented the tumour forming if I had gone to the doctors? I don`t know, I have been to scared and embarrassed to ask anybody, but now I wish I had known what it could mean. Any abnormalities that were not apparent before, inturned nipples, strange dimpling skin, feeling a lump is not the only sign.
I have had my story in newspapers and magazines before, trying to raise awareness, trying to encourage women, and men, to have tests, mammograms, watch out for the signs. When stories were requested again as to how cancer was discovered I sent my story to Breakthrough breast cancer, not because I am courting fame, want my name or photo in a magazine, nothing like that, my sole aim is to raise awareness and make even one woman think, help even one woman (hopefully many) seek help. We must not forget men, they can get breast cancer too. So I sent my story in, knowing that as October is breast cancer awareness month they would want all the stories made known, all the publicity they could. Magazines, newspapers I could cope with. I don`t mind writing my story out, discussing it with somebody, sending in my photo, writing a blog. If it will make someone aware, give them the courage to find help that is my aim. I was not prepared to be asked to appear on television. I had an email asking if I would speak on the Lorraine show! I was a bit shocked, no I was very shocked, and I really really wish I could have found the courage to do it. I know I should have, I do desperately want to get the message out there, to try and help. I`m sorry, I don`t have the confidence to speak on television, and to be honest my mobility is not great due to arthritis so a journey to and perhaps across London is not something I would relish, nor would I find it an easy thing to do. I feel awful about turning down the opportunity to speak but I am stressed just thinking about it! Maybe that seems silly to some people, hopefully a lot of people will understand, I just wish I could overcome my fears. I am still happy for my story to be told in newspapers, blogs, magazines, to get the message out there.
If you have found a lump, if you have found unusual dimpling on the skin of the breast or a change in your nipple, please please go and see your doctor, don`t be afraid, you can get through whatever will happen. I had an operation, chemotherapy, radiotherapy, herceptin, lost my hair, was terribly sick, very tired, had no energy but now, seven and a half years after my diagnosis I am still here, I am alive. I am a grandmother, I know who my friends are, I have a wonderful family. My cancer was grade 3, fast growing and aggressive. I was scared and sometimes I will not lie, I still am. I am still here, against all the odds I am still here.
A nice post script to my story, after being on the Anthony Nolan bone marrow register for many years, 5 years ago my husband was called upon to donate his bone marrow. He gave his donation and saved the life of a lady in the USA. We did not know where she was at the time, but after a certain time scale the recipient is allowed contact if they so wish and we have been in contact with the lady whose life he saved. She is just a little younger than us by 5 years or so, and like us has two grown up children a son and daughter. She has told us she would have died without the bone marrow donation and we are both very happy to know that she is alive and well because of it. So in effect he saved two lives, mine when he insisted I attend that first mammogram and Michelles in USA. He said it was his way of giving something back for all the help I had and for my life being saved.
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